Scintillations and Vacillations

saved some poems from my phone... wrote it there to ease the boredom and now i want to clean em up... here goes--- i. nakasusulasok sa loob; sa dami ng taong naghihintay (ng pagbabago), nakatunghay (sa impyernong langit). isang daang taong napapagal. ang sistema--- limampung taon na, mabagal, matagal. ganito kami winawalang-hiya ng aming mga "tagapagligtas", ng mga taong tutupad dapat ng aming mga pangarap. limampung milyong tao na ang naghahanap ng sagot na di mahagilap. ii. hinihila na ng mga anghel ang mga mata ko. lulubog... aahon... tulad ng palad kong ang diwa'y umaalapaap... umaaso... at ito ang buhay antukin. iii. (what first timers might not want to forget) i was able to kiss her, under the blazing yellow lights, amongst the vacillations of the crowd, i kissed her. her cheek was almost my disgrace as it may be forced the crowd was pleased and so am i. i was able to kiss her as my heartbeat still manifoldly scores my bone trembles as the crowd wants more i was abl...

it's gonna be the first day of classes in UE tomorrow... and i'm darn nervous... am i going to meet students again? am i going to find another work? did the elders like me? (of course, they don't, but not all). thing is, i hold in my hand my chances. i'm starting to think of plans for tomorrow. i might wear my most formal so that i can apply for another work if i'm not given work. i might not say good bye. that's too emotional. but thing is, if i'm not renewed, thanks for the chance they gave me, and for the nice memories too. if i'm renewed, well, i'll start working on my improvement. i need to be so mature. i need to correct the dumbest mistakes i ever made and move all the way to the top. i'll miss my friends and my studes if i'm gone. i'll prove to them i'm better now, if another chance comes along. i love this job. contrary to confucius, i'll work even more for it.

distort plans awaken dreams play safe break play

Kamusta naman ang finals week?!!! That's a surefire exclamation and explanation about the retardation of many students, and teachers as well, during the week. Add to that the homey, chilly and sleepy atmosphere provided by the ITCZ roaming around the region. Everybody's sleepy, but we must stay awake to keep our dignities high. But besides that crap, I am under the hunger, confusion, laziness, wanting-to-be-idle state-of-mind. Yet I need to catch up, lest I want to be a couch potato forever. I am assuming that I will not be renewed next sem. But I want to stay for good. My hunger is seeping through my stomach. It's heating me hot. I want KFC Extreme Hot Shots.

I do not know yet if I'm going to stay in the University. First, my contract ends in October 19. One more thing, I haven't been asked to renew my contract. (I still owe some things to UE though). But one thing's for sure. I enjoyed my stay. I enjoyed being with the students. The mere fact that these kids are really amiable gives me a good idea of coming back even though I might not be related to UE anymore. In addition, I can see determination from students to leave their comfort zones behind and learn. I see hidden desires. Even though these kids are limited by other unmotivated kids, they are motivated even more when they are well lauded. I enjoyed being with others. I may have been gossiped at or being thrown stones at by some people but I have learned a lot from these people. I may have not found the woman whom I'll be home with but, I found a real good friend. I still have more things to do and I don't think I'm saying goodbye yet. I think even that it is t...